Ab Planitia Ante Caloris

Crackling figures of light piercing through layers of distortion and refraction, each sitting amid a pool of empty dark. A miniscule sweeping dance. Spans reconstituting imperfectly between each and every hallowing blot. Soaking in miraculous outside. Something beyond beyond. Something never seen or felt before; this is what y perceive now… What more may be seen, perhaps spliced and twisted and dulled, out through this glassy veil, y wonder?

...

In truth, it was a long and arduous time to get to this point. Y am Ymyx, born in the back end of vv communal pool, on the outskirts near the cleft-side wall. Y am not so fortunate as to belong to one of those highly esteemed castes that populate the forth end with its resources aplenty. Instead y made do with yv mediocrity. Y kept to yyv, largely alone with yv ambitions. Looking back over yv existence in full, y find it comparable to the struggles of any other being like yd, or indeed like all of vd as a whole.

V are a fickle people. In the early days of this very pool, before vd, life had only begun to sprout into existence. However many lifespans between then and vv arrival surely must’ve felt like nothing at all. There was little change, no real methodology for survival. There were only beings like machines, capable of little more than reduplicating and fending off threats. Then, practically all at once, v came about. As though some miracle, it was vd standing atop the natural order. A being that can alter vyv and process processing itself. Thought. Strategy. Though v lived (and still live) short, fleeting lives, a winning trait was discovered. And so v flourished and spread. Every generation living a faster life than those before vd. Impossibly short, impossibly small given vv pool, vv cradle of life.

V are a malleable people. Long chains of processing floating about in open pool. Soft and maneuverable if need be. Permeable and prone to absorption. Quick to reproduce and reduplicate, short-lived yet brilliant. Thought and little more, that is vv survival strategy. Wits and numbers alone have proven capable of beating out any competition. Perhaps not forever, but long enough for yd.

Over time, v settled down and spread vyv, thin and permeable, across vv great pool. Hardly any chance for others to come about. It’s difficult to keep up with the raw strength of the times, even for one of vd. Those cutting-edge thinkers generating trends and rippling out from the forth end of the pool are relentless. Y say that not as a reflection of yv own hatred, but of ev. Vdaltei, the figurehead of vv zone and yv father. One of two who gave yd life. E recognized yd. As much as v may disagree on things, y cannot help but respect ed even now.

But things were not so amicable in the past. In yv youth, v found vyv in constant and continual disagreement. Y had yv ambitions and those ambitions were not respected by ed. Always having to fight against ev to get what y need - it was exhausting.

It was only thanks to yv one friend, yv finest companion, that y was able to keep yyv from splitting apart. Ev name was Dveirn, and y am grateful for ed. E completed yd. E listened to and heeded yv ambitions well. E sometimes even encouraged yd pursuit. V talked at times of going out on great journeys together, out to the ease-side wall and back. In retrospect e seemed to grow less overtly supportive of yd over vv time. If y were in ev shoes, y too would’ve grown tired.

Often in yv company throughout yv time until now were yv sister, Kalx, and yv mother, Dumerityx. Kalx and y kept on such fine terms and hardly ever quarreled. R was a joy to behold. Rd conviction was unshakeable and, unlike yy, r aimed for normalcy above all else. A stunning child. A malleable, caring wonder. Rd drive fueled yv own, consciously or otherwise. Dumerityx, the other who gave yd life, was caring beyond words as well. R loved yd like no other. R truly loved yyd like no other.

Even these two grew somehwat callous towards yd with time. Y had failed to live up to Dumerityx’s expectations or fit in well enough to be the supportive figure Kalx hoped of yd. Sharply resigning yyv to yv ambitions, y had yv share of conflicts with these two in kind.

Still - without these comrades, y would not have been able to arrive where y am now. Through all the tumult, y have at last made it to the site of yv ambition with all the preparations made.

There was a hermit who resided at the uppermost strata against the cleft-side wall - fully against it. It was there that e espoused discoveries and created new thoughts. After hearing the rumors, y met ed there. Ev name was Saptunyy. Floating about in ev atelier, y met ed, still young and with so much yet to grasp. E was kind enough not to turn yd away at first, and from there a more proper communion was practically guaranteed with time. This atelier y find yyv inside now feels hollow and empty without ed in it. This place long stood emblematic of what yv comrades invariably grew to resent - the manifestation of yv pointless-seeming ambitions. The failure of Ymyx incarnate.

Times change rather quickly for vd, though. All those around yd vanished in the face of happenstance. It’s lonelier now. Dveirn left on a journey long ago. An unfortunate accident befell Vdaltei, and a terrible brutish tragedy befell dear Kalx and Dumerityx. Saptunyy faded away to causes beyond vd, causes that come to claim vd all with enough time. At the very least, despite it all, y can finally achieve yv ambitions.

At the very back end of the pool, jutting out from the cleft-side wall, above the uppermost strata of the pool, far into the uninhabitable atmospheric section of it: here lies a truly unique site. A geometric structural formation of some seemingly rare material has made itself at home as part of the uppermost pool wall. Unlike most solid materials, where any sensation is lost and scrambled shortly after interfacing with it, this swath of wall possesses a far more engaging quality: sensations are merely bounced around through it, only barely decayed. With some astute observation and a bit of work, this wall face may be seen and felt all the way through. It is yv ambition incarnate.

And so y look on. Y let all the sensations wash over yyd. Y study.

Over time, Y begin to see different things in the crystalline wall. Y am certain that yv perception remains unchanged from the first moment y began yv observations. Something in the structure itself is shifting. Perhaps instead something on the other side of the structure is moving and its presence is being let in.

This prospect stirs something in yd. To know of anything beyond the confines of this pool has long since been yv greatest ambition. After all this time and effort, such a thing may really be right here before yd. And so y look on. About the glassy veil, between the motions of the slow sweeping dance, y see the first sign of something disparate. It streaks in slowly along a different arc from all the other twirling sparkles.

A hot, molten vision of light falls into yd. Y sense a swirling, everchanging movement from this light. Y wonder what constitutes it. It seems to be bursting with potential, bustling with movement and mirth. It could contain anything. Y can’t help but think of Kalx and Dumerityx, who would wonderfully fit such a description. Oh, how y miss rd both… That such a tragedy befell yv beloved mother and sister, y struggle to bear it. Y could have relented it. Perhaps this vision is of those two. At the very least y believe it now stands in honor of rd. This sight dedicated to rd. That dedication is all y can provide for now.

Yv lament flattens; yv ambition swells. What do y see next?

A smooth, shifting hot fluid thing with a lesser thing in tow. Immediately yv body flashes with a smattering of emotion. Father and child. A well of life, perhaps, with all its troublesome implications. Y am certain in an instant that this thing is alive, or will be alive, or will perhaps one day house some life far beyond yy. Y can’t explain why. It reminds yd painfully of Vdaltei and yyd.

Vdaltei, oh Vdaltei… If v had not disagreed so often and so vehemently, y may not have needed to do what y did… Y dedicate this wellspring of life and change to vd both.

Y witness a sullen red thing next. It’s fainter and seemingly more distant than the others. It gives yd a sense of forlorn, painstaking distance. Y watch it skitter and refract into view and y already cannot bear to watch it go. In that sense it reminds yd of Dveirn. E was long since sent on a journey beyond any of vd by yv hand. V simply could not mend what v had broken between vd together. Y had to cut it off. Y had to cut ed off. E’s gone. Y soak in the sights once more. Before y realized it, the red sensation had left just as quickly. Just as painfully.

Recollection begins to seep too far into yv ambition for it to be wholly pure by now. Nevertheless, y must pick up the pieces and continue to glean everything y can of an ‘outside’. Y begin to notice a dizzy anomaly forming on the edges of the pool-structure - it's beeing flooded with light. Yv mind wanders to what its source could be. Something big, something powerful, something beyond vd. It begins to hurt.

Yv thoughts turn to Saptunyy. Why had e made eyd a hermitage at a place as dangerous as this? Y hadn’t the chance to ask before e left yd. The one being y didn’t have to force out of yv way, and e perished on yd like all the rest. Y had never once grasped the full extent of ev knowledge. Y hadn’t peered deep enough into ev mind to learn anything of ed. This burning, unfettered light may just as well be a personification of ev true thoughts about yd. So be it. Y made good on yv ambitions at any cost, any expense. So be it.

A new presence makes itself known to yd. As if an anomaly, it crawls out from between ridges in the pool-structure and into sensation upon yd. It’s faint, fainter than any other thing y had seen, yet it changes so much faster. It seems to live at nearly the same speed as yd. Y look at it. It grows bigger, brighter. As though a mere imitator of Saptunyy’s light. As though a reflection of yv own ambition, at last on its course to find yy.

It continues. Larger, brighter, more brilliant still. It does not waver from its position. Perhaps it's getting closer.

What if it doesn’t stop? What will happen when it reaches yd? Uncertainties fill yv body. Y can hardly stand not knowing. The lights singe yd now. Y feel yv outer walls peeling off and drifting away into the rest of the pool. Y don’t care. Yv ambition has long since been all that remains of yd. Yv accomplishment in arriving here and witnessing all of this. This is what y had done it all for.

And yet y feel conflicted. Y feel a number of dualities swirling about inside yd. Accomplishment and incompleteness. Pride and insignificance. Success and regret. Discovery and lament. It’s all so muddied. This pool, all y have ever known, feels all too small to contain anything anymore. It was worth it all, but it wasn't.

V are a shining flash of nothing. V are a growing light through a crystalline surface. V are a handful of distant objects or people with so much beyond this present moment in store for vd. Y can’t help but wonder why. Y can’t help but answer yyv by continuing to exist and falling apart. Y hope whoever comes to exist on that well of life and its little orbiter can fare against these feelings better than y am.

The light nearly engulfs yd now. Y can’t detect anything else around yd. Y have made yv peace. Y saw it all. That's enough.